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exactly　like　baby　aspirin　and　he　was　only　drinking　it　because　the　bartender　had　promised　him　it

was　loaded　with　caffeine　and　something　called　taurine；　which　was　guaranteed　to　keep　him

hyperawake　all　night。

All　of　a　sudden　he　noticed　a　violently　tall　woman　wearing　a　flaming　red　bouffant　wig？ithad　to　be

a　wig？neon　pink　lipstick；　andhuge　tortoise…shell　sunglasses　standing　in　the　middle　of　the　packed

room　with　her　hands　cupped　around　her　mouth。　？Daniel　Humphrey？　Calling　Daniel　Humphrey！？

she　shrieked。

It　was　Rusty　Klein。

Dan　tilted　his　head　back　and　downed　his　drink；　blinking　his　eyes　as　the　caffeine　and　whatever

else　was　in　his　drink　rushed　to　his　brain　all　at　once。　He　stumbled　over　to　the　woman；　his　heart

thumping　even　faster　than　the　music。　？I？m　Dan；？　he　croaked。

？Lookatyou　！　Our　newpoet　！　You？readorable　！Perfect　！？　Rusty　Klein　pushed　her　enormous

sunglasses　up　on　top　of　her　head　and　jangled　the　enormous　gold　bracelets　covering　her　long　bony

wrists　as　she　grabbed　Dan　and　kissed　each　of　his　cheeks。　Her　perfume　smelled　oily　and　acidic；　like

tuna　fish。　？I　love　you；　honey；？　she　purred；　squeezing　Dan　tight。

Dan　shrank　away；　unused　to　being　manhandled　by　someone　he？d　only　just　met。　He　hadn？t

expected　Rusty　Klein　to　be　soscary　。　Her　eyebrows　had　been　dyed　to　match　her　wig　and　she　was

dressed　like　a　sword　fighter；　in　a　form…fitting　black　velvet　Better　Than　Naked　puffy…sleeved　jacket

and　matching　black　velvet　bullfighting　pants。　A　rope　of　black　pearls　clung　to　her　pale；　bony

cleavage。

？I？ve　been　trying　to　write　more　poems；？　Dan　stammered。　？You　know；　for　my　book？？

？Wonderful！？　Rusty　Klein　shouted；　thrusting　her　lips　at　him　again　and　probably　smearing　bright

pink　lipstick　all　over　his　face。　？Let？s　make　a　lunch　date　sometime　next　week。？

？Um；　I？ve　got　school　all　day　every　day　next　week；　but　I　get　out　at　three…thirty。？

？School！？Rusty　screamed。　？You？re　socute　！　We　can　do　tea　then。　Call　my　office　and　have　Buckley；

my　assistant；　set　it　up。　Oh；　fuck　me！？　She　clasped　Dan？s　arm　with　a　clawlike　hand。　Her　fingernails

were　at　least　three　inches　long　and　painted　orangey　pink。　？There？s　someone　here　you

absolutelymust　meet。？

Rusty　let　go　of　Dan　and　held　out　her　arms　to　receive　a　frail…looking　girl　with　a　long；　sad　face　and

dirty　blond　hair。　The　girl　was　wearing　only　a　see…through　light　pink　slip　over　her　gaunt　frame　and

her　lank；　waist…length　hair　was　unbed；　as　if　she？d　just　gotten　out　of　bed。　？Mystery　Craze；　this

is　Daniel　Humphrey。　Daniel；　this　is　Mystery；？　Rusty　purred　loudly。　？Mystery；　honey；　you

remember　that　poem　I　gave　you　to　read？　The　one　you　said　。　。　。　Oh；　fuck　me。　I？ll　letyou　tell　him

what　you　said。　Now　if　you？ll　excuse　me；　I？m　going　to　go　lick　my　favorite　designer？s　ass　so　he？ll

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